(sorry, I was busy when the announcement scrolled by my flist and then forgot to go back to it. bad me.)
“She’s been here for weeks and I still don’t know hardly anything about her.”
That struck me as really awkward... were you trying to capture something about Kaitlyn's speech patterns, or would "I hardly know anything about her" do?
“You are clearly mired in some rank sea of self-deprecation, as well as full of crap.”
I'm SO going to quote that at you next time your in a down mood about your writing. ^_^
I like the conversation here in general, very natural, and the characterization is very good. (And I still like Etienne best.) And Omnes coming back with "I thought it would be entertaining" was just brilliant.
Poor Celina. ;_; The arguement with her mother was great, it's amazing how much of a cold water shock the idea of calling the police can be in a magical girl story, isn't it? And "I'm drinking the rest of this milk"? Brilliant. I seriously laughed out loud.
Dagan and Azura are really cute in conversation.
“It’s a good thing I get gloves,” Gnome said, peeking at his shiny, dark brown nails.
“But you look so stylish,” Undine teased.
Have I told you how much I love it that you can keep the humor in your writing even when the plot is being all Dark and Angsty and Serious?
Sailorknight kicks so much ass. I still wish there was a way that there wasn't so much going on during your battle scenes, but I can't think of how to do it without, you know, not having everyone there. And I think that'd be hard.
Poor Lysistrata. ;_; Oh, you might want to fix " I am not worried about worried about Fa’Diel. " I like the way she speaks, the lack of self-pity. Gah, though, I just want to hug her. And Celina. And Kaitlyn, when she's all angsty.
And Etienne, because he's hot. *grin* But not as hot as Sean, of course....
Anyway. Back to bitching out my hosting company. Thanks for making the afternoon more enjoyable.
